Traditional marriage custom in Sichuan: crying for marriage

"Crying to marry" is also known as "crying to marry","crying to marry a child","crying to sedan chair", etc. It is a traditional marriage custom of Han, Tujia, Tibetan, Yi, Zhuang, Sala and other ethnic groups, that is, the crying and singing ceremony carried out when the bride is married.

It is common for the bride to cry to marry. The prelude to crying and singing begins in the first half month, one month, and some even the first three months of the bride's marriage. However, it was held intermittently at the beginning. You can cry freely. Relatives and neighbors came to visit with gifts, and whoever came would cry as a courtesy of thanks. From the night before the wedding ceremony to the next day, when we boarded the sedan chair, we cried to get married and arrived at Feiteng. The crying and singing at this moment must be held in accordance with traditional etiquette and cannot be cried indiscriminately. Anyone who cannot cry will be laughed at or even underestimated by others. Generally speaking, the content of crying singing mainly includes "crying for parents","crying for brothers and sisters-in-law","crying for sisters","crying for uncles","crying for accompanying guests","crying for matchmakers","crying for combing hair","crying for ancestors","crying for getting on the sedan chair", etc. The "lyrics" are both traditional and passed down from generation to generation, and also improvised by the bride and her sisters who "cried". The main content is to express gratitude to my parents for their filial piety and the concern of my brothers, sister-in-law, and to express the sadness of the joy that life was about to pass during my teenage years and the vastness and uneasiness before a new life came down. There are also some who vent their dissatisfaction with their marriage and lifelong remorse for the matchmaker's random decision.

I don't know when the custom of crying for marriage originated. During the Warring States Period, the princess of Zhao married the State of Yan to become queen. When parting, her mother, Empress Dowager Zhao,"held her heel and cried for it, wishing that she would not return. "It was probably the origin of the long-standing custom of crying for marriage.

This custom was still popular in rural Sichuan until the end of the Qing Dynasty. In the mountainous areas of northern Sichuan, the habit of crying for marriage remained in Han communities in the late 1980s.

I heard from the old people that in the early days, there was no family who married without crying. If a woman who is married but does not cry is presented, she will be regarded by her neighbors as an uneducated person and will be rumored to be a laughing stock. It is said that there is a case where a married woman is beaten by her mother who does not cry. Although this mother can be regarded as an influx director.

In old stories, there was a story where a sedan chair came to the door, and his father forced him to cry. It can be seen that crying for marriage has lyrics and a performance character. It was originally used to exaggerate the air and set off happiness with sadness; however, since marriage is inclusive, there will be no less crying or scolding.

When my grandfather was a boy, it was in the late period of the Anti-Japanese War. He lived in the suburbs of the county. The folk customs were relatively open, and the trend of crying for marriage was no longer popular, but the old people still talked about it and talked about it. But I have only seen reality crying for marriage once. Neighbors all said that it was the ancestor and mother of the family who insisted on practicing ancient rituals and customs, and the younger generations had no choice but to follow them. The way to cry is to start from the first day of a month before the wedding date, at dusk, the woman cries for about an hour, and her voice purrs. Ten days later, her mother intervened to "accompany the crying"; another ten days later, her grandmother intervened to accompany the crying. There are no aunts and sisters in this family. People say that if there were any, they should have stepped in to accompany the crying queue.

Crying to get married is called "sitting in court" in western Sichuan. Taoist Ji of the Qing Dynasty,"Wei Zhexuan Manbi·Sitting Tang Ci" said: "Marriage etiquette varies from province to province. However, the etiquette reflects feelings, and the provinces are similar. Whenever a man marries a wife and writes poems first, it is called 'urging makeup'; a woman's family sings poems to praise her daughter, it is called 'sitting in the station'. Those sitting in the hall should have a few nights before the wedding ceremony was approaching. Her aunts and sisters would bring wine to farewell to the female ancestor, each saying auspicious words, feeling that the praise was beautiful, and the woman would express her own meaning and answer. Ladies and gentlemen have young girls, and they are those who follow suit. The words are despicable, but they have sad and clear rhymes, majestic and vigorous, just like ancient songs and ancient ballads. Cai, Mingfu in Luojiang, was in disguise and guarding the village. He walked somewhere one day and a woman returned home. All the Di Si praised her with flattery, and the woman expressed her feelings and replied. Suddenly, the wind blew a sentence into his ears, and the sentence said: 'If the phoenix falls on the table, which daughter will leave her mother'. Every word turns, the rhyme is sad. Who says that the sound of nature is not just a foolish man and a foolish woman! "So. Ji Taoist's surname is Zhou and his name is Jitang, and he is from Chengdu. Taoist Ji remembered Ming Dabai and lamented that he had only remembered one line of crying marriage, making it difficult to see the whole leopard. Fortunately, there is a kind of "Training a Girl and Crying to Get Married" in the old times, which shows that it is normal. The titles of this small book include "Guesthouse Crying","Niang Training","Sister-in-law Crying for Sister","Crying for Parents","Crying for Brother and Sister-in-law","Crying for the Pallet","Crying for Uncle","Crying for Brothers","Crying for Grandfathers and Grandmothers","Crying for Uncle","Crying for Incense", etc. The compilation is a bit confusing, as if it was written in handy and has not been written by literati. Thinking back to the distance when the 15-nation style in the Book of Songs had not been deleted, it was probably just like this! A few paragraphs are reproduced as follows.

............

The crying girl hears the birds in the back garden and wants to listen to the voice of her daughter in the room.

My mother is the door of bitter kudzu vine, and her hands are climbing bitter kudzu vine to complain.

My mother's bitterness has passed, but my daughter's bitterness has taken root.

............

Orange flowers and leaves are green, and the sun sparrow opens.

The newly made copper basin can only be filled with water, and the newly made hinge and scissors are green on both sides.

If I don't speak, I will speak, if I don't speak, I will speak.

There is a wooden lily tree at the door, and scroll scriptures are hung on the lotus tree.

I finished reciting a scripture and didn't see my mother coming to speak.

Thanks to my mother's steady sleep, my parents 'tears are as precious as gold.

Crying parents 'jade wheels bend in the beautiful hall, and my daughter starts to call her parents.

Parents raising children with empty hopes are like a dream.

If you raise your child one foot five inches, it will be very wet and bitter when you dry it.

Hard work turns into a virtual state, but my parents suffer in vain.

Crying brothers with black lacquer tea trays and ebony heads, and sisters leave their brothers behind.

Save it until my sister eats your food and until my sister wears your clothes.

Brothers are working hard at home, and marry their sister and buy a place.

Buy Tongchuan Mansion in Qi, and buy Suining Township in Qi.

............

This book records the lyrics of northern Sichuan, while what I saw in my early years was southern Sichuan. What Ji recorded was western Sichuan and eastern Sichuan. It probably wouldn't be much different. Unfortunately, although the crying marriage lyrics recorded in this book include words such as "I only blame the matchmaker Mo Xinxin", they do not list "scold the matchmaker, probably because they are afraid that the matchmaker will be too embarrassed!

In fact, media abuse is an indispensable program in crying for marriage, and it is also the most resistant lyrics for crying for marriage. In the old society, women had no freedom to marry at all. Because of the constraints of the "three obeys and four virtues", they could hardly say a word about their own life-long events. They were all at the mercy of matchmakers and parents; therefore, this "scolding matchmakers" before boarding the sedan chair is a valuable opportunity to vent. This has long been reflected in arts such as opera and folk rap.

Among the living habits of the people in the Three Gorges, especially the Ba people and their families, crying marriage is undoubtedly the most distinctive wedding ceremony.

The bride started crying half a month before she got married and kept crying until she got into the sedan chair. The custom of crying for marriage is related to the ancient marriage system. In the past, there have been several unfair marriage customs in the local family. They are widely known as "every daughter of the Gu family must marry the son of the uncle's family", which is called "bone-boning seeds"; the second is that no matter which woman, as long as the man likes, he buys a string of firecrackers and sets it at the door of her house. It will be an engagement, and no woman can stop her. If a woman is taken in by several men at the same time and has an engagement ceremony, the man will accidentally or even defeat the enemy to win the marriage, although there are cases that will affect the woman's peace; third, bride theft; fourth, past marriages are mostly "the fate of the parents, but the words of the mediator." The woman does not know the man and his family, and is full of worries about her future life. Under such a marriage system, a girl's marriage is usually unfortunate, so crying becomes a kind of affirmation.

The process of crying for marriage begins with the woman crying alone. On the night before the wedding, the woman's girlfriend and three relatives and six sisters gathered together and sat around the same room to cry and talk in turn. The content of the crying statement gradually evolved into a tune with a certain mode and rhythm, becoming a "crying marriage song". In addition, Tujia people also regard whether or not to sing a crying marriage song as a symbol to weigh a woman's intelligence and virtue. The bride not only has to sing one song to every relative in the family, but also sings to strangers, and every thing she does.

The content of the crying marriage song usually tells about the gratitude of my parents for raising me, the deep affection of my brothers and sisters, and the pain of leaving. It may express my own worries about my future life, etc.

A song telling my mother the same thing sings: "My mother, my mother, you make a dowry for your daughter. You make three games in ten days and nine games in a month. The road becomes a trough, and the path runs fluffy. As soon as the chicken spoke, my mother was walking on the road; when the sparrow entered the forest, my mother was walking halfway. 2 When the magpie landed in its nest, my mother was touching on the road; there were many red, green and green items, and there were many more to do. My mother, my mother, my mother has nine flowers and leaves, and my mother has been pregnant with me for ten months. October pregnancy is a disaster. As soon as October came into labor, my mother was on the side, biting her mouth until the nails were broken, and her feet broke the ground. When I woke up, I saw that it was a woman, not a man, and a woman in grief. Mother's sweetness is tens of millions, and it cannot be counted in ten days and a half a month."

Another example is a crying marriage song spread in Sansheng Township, Jiangbei District, Chongqing: "The premature death and blowing of the Tianshou Gong have forced my heart to break! My father, my mother, I grew up under your milk roots, and I worked hard for my parents. I have not repaid every grace, nor have I repaid thousands of drops of nectar. I am about to separate you. I don't know what his family is. Who should I express my heart to? My father, my mother, I am willing to serve the two elders but not marry her."

The crying marriage song is frugal and natural, with a sincere and long-term love, with clear characteristics of the Three Gorges. It is also a sign of the integrity of the Three Gorges atmosphere. For example, in a crying marriage song telling my brother and sister-in-law, it sings: "My brother, my sister-in-law, an orange with twelve petals, and my sister wants to break up; a piece of bamboo is to be picked up during the holidays; an egg is not yellow, and your sisters will have a long life; a water tank with three hoops is no stranger to you and my sisters."

In addition to crying women, parents, brothers and sisters, relatives and friends also sang back. A song sung back by her mother: "When adults want to get married, my mother tells you a few words: first, you must be filial to your parents-in-law; second, you must respect your husband; third, you must be gentle in your sister-in-law; fourth, you must be considerate and virtuous, your tea and rice should be balanced, your candles should be vigilant, and your stir-frying dishes should be clean; fifth, you must get up early, sweep the floor in front of the hall, and the guests come home, pack cigarettes and deliver tea; sixth, you must learn to cut clothes to avoid asking for help. Don't be greedy for too much fun, and rely on it if you are poor in the future." The lyrics are the mother's instructions and exhortations every bit before her daughter left.

There is also a song sung back by a close friend: "Sister is close, sister is close, pick a pomegranate and divide it evenly, open the twelve squares of pomegranate, and never separate your heart every three or four."

The trend of crying for marriage has now dissipated in most places, and can only be seen in Qianjiang, Shizhu, Xiushan in Chongqing and Badong and Changyang in Hubei where Tujia people live.

Weiling Marriage in Western Guangdong has the female daughter who has left the crop as the lead singer, and Mu Cang, sister-in-law, and sisters sing with or answer, and sing in unison. The married woman cried and sang to express her reluctance to part with her parents and relatives.

Marriage crying in Xinyi, western Guangdong, has been popular in the Xintu region in the past and has been widely spread in western Guangdong for more than a thousand years. The crying wedding song is extremely rich in content, has a strong cultural color, and accumulates an extremely rich cultural landscape; it is an expressive song sung by the bride to be married and her female relatives and friends. The crying wedding song speaks incisively and simply. It has a common five-character and seven-character layout. It rhymes and catchy, is ordinary and lively, and is easy to sing.