Strange customs at the end of the Qing Dynasty: a woman never sleeps with her husband throughout her life
In the late Qing Dynasty, there was a special custom in the Pearl River Delta that surprised people. One of the customs is even more exotic. A woman never sleeps with her husband throughout her life. What is there to say about this? Let's take a look together.
In feudal society, many women in counties were unwilling to be abused, determined not to marry, or supported each other with their female companions to end their old age. Since the middle and late Ming Dynasty, special customs of self-grooming and not leaving home have emerged. Since the rise of the silk industry provided women with the opportunity to make an independent living, these customs were able to follow each other for more than 300 years under the oppression of feudal etiquette and laws, reaching a climax from the late Qing Dynasty to the early Republic of China. It was not until the 1930s that they followed the rise of women's social status and the impact of war gradually subsided.
In the past, when a woman married, her mother had to tie her bun. Those who refused to marry would perform a certain ritual to tie her bun by herself, which was called "self-combing". The ceremony is usually held in the "great-aunt's house" where self-combing women and non-family women live together. The parties purchase new clothes, shoes, socks, makeup, lenses, ropes, incense, wine and dishes in advance, use yellow skin leaves to boil water to bathe, and make offerings to worship Guanyin. They vow never to marry. Then the older self-combing woman will comb her braids into a bun, change them with new clothes and new shoes, and salute other self-combing sisters one by one. Those who are off will also have a banquet with wine.
After performing the ceremony, the woman was "combed" and officially became a "self-combed girl" and would not regret it for life. The "self-combing girl" can continue to live in her mother's house on weekdays, pick mulberry trees and silk, and earn her own living. She often goes to the "great-aunt's house" to meet with her sisters in her spare time, and supports each other in life, as close as family members. If you are old or critically ill, you must move to your "great-aunt's house" and must not die in your mother's house.
"Bu Luo home" is a fake marriage custom for women to dress themselves. In order to avoid being forced to marry by their parents and to resist ineffective resistance, they pass through the door and refuse to sleep with her husband. After returning to the door for three dynasties, they will live in their mother's house for a long time and never return. Therefore, it is called "Bu Luo home".
In addition to having a similar social background to self-grooming girls, it is more common for girls to be forced by their parents to neither "comb" nor escape from the house. They have to take advantage of the opportunity of "returning home in three dynasties" to live in their parents 'home for a long time to avoid cohabitation with their husbands. This kind of woman is called married, but in fact she is still single, commonly known as "never leaving home".
Some women, determined to live a single life, have secretly married themselves without telling their parents, but eventually married because they could not resist their parents 'pressure. Therefore, they had to adopt the method of "staying home" after marriage to deal with their parents. Women who deliberately stayed at home secretly asked their confidant sisters-in-law and sisters to teach them how to deal with the night of the wedding chamber when they were married, and asked the Jin Lan sisters to make a special set of defensive clothes. The clothes were made to be connected from top to bottom, and the jaws were particularly strong, so that the groom could not tear them apart. Bring a pair of scissors as self-defense and keep the groom away from him. If the groom forces him with violence, he shouts for help. The eldest sister played by the Jin Lan sisters will collectively go to rescue the bride after hearing the news and help the bride escape. I stayed at my husband's house for three days, and then stopped returning to my husband's house after "returning home".
However, women who do not leave home are still housewives in their husbands 'homes. If there is a red and white funeral in your husband's family, you will also send someone back to show your concern. If Wu-gu or her husband passes away, she must go back personally to "take up her duties" and perform her filial piety and funeral. If I am critically ill and about to die, I cannot stay at my mother's home for the funeral. I must return to my husband's home to die. The woman's family will be responsible for the food, medicine and afterlife expenses during her dying period. The husband's family must conduct the funeral in accordance with the etiquette of a housewife. The inheritance is left to the concubine or the children of the concubine. There are also people who die in "great-aunt's houses" or nunnery without returning to their husbands 'homes.
In ancient feudal society, etiquette and laws were strict. As long as many unmarried women tied their pigtails into a bun, it meant that they would never marry, or they would support each other with their female companions to end their old age. However, as time goes by, the figure of the self-grooming woman has gradually faded out of our vision.