Traditional Xibo wedding customs
There is a popular proverb among the Xibo people: "The breeze in spring is warm, and weddings in late autumn are lively." Xibe weddings are generally held in late autumn or early winter. The marriage of the Xibe people must go through two steps: engagement and engagement. Engagement is divided into marriage proposal and engagement. The man who proposes marriage has to go to the woman's house at least three times; the engagement ceremony has two times; the wedding takes several days before and after, the wedding banquet for the mother's family takes two days, and the in-law's family takes three days. It is extremely grand and enthusiastic.
When the young man reaches the age of sixteen or seventeen, his parents will start to "talk about his daughter-in-law". After you have a suitable partner, you should invite a matchmaker with a good character, reputation and familiarity with the woman's family to propose marriage at the woman's house. When the matchmaker and the man's parents go to the woman's house for the first time to propose marriage, they can be empty-handed and bring nothing. The purpose of this trip was to "explore the way". It would only make a general visit and chat with each other, without mentioning the marriage of their children. But when bidding farewell, the matchmaker had to say to the woman's family: "We will visit again in the future"-implying that he would formally propose marriage next time. When the woman's family detects the intention of the visitor, they will immediately hold a "family expansion meeting" after the guests leave to solicit everyone's opinions and understand the man's family situation and the young man's career and character.
When the matchmaker and the man's parents went to the woman's house for the second time, they were traditionally required to bring a bottle of soju as a gift for the marriage proposal. This was also a token of the formal marriage proposal. The woman's family could understand the visitor's intentions at a glance. After the pleasantries, the matchmaker opened the bottle and poured wine, stood up with the man's parents to toast the woman's parents, and revealed their intentions. If the woman's parents agree to this marriage, after some hesitation, they will happily take the wine cup and drink it in one gulp; if they disagree, they will resolutely refuse to accept the wine cup under various excuses. If you agree, after the matchmaker leaves, the woman's parents will invite the next of kin again for discussion, and also seek the daughter's opinion.
the matchmaker and the man's parents come to the woman's house for the third time, they will also bring a bottle of soju. While the two parties drink and chat, the topic will turn to the marriage of their children. The woman's parents will announce the results of the discussion and agree to bring the young man to an "interview" next time; if the woman's opinions are not unified, then the matter will need to be delayed until the time is ripe.
After waiting for a while, the man received the news that the woman had completely unified opinions on the marriage, so the matchmaker, the man's parents and the young man himself went to the woman's house, bringing two bottles of soju as a toast. When they arrive at the woman's house, the future son-in-law will salute and toast the woman's elders one by one. Girls will hide and peek at the appearance and demeanor of their future husband. After a while, the future son-in-law will pick up a double cup of wine and kneel down to toast the future father-in-law and mother-in-law, which is equivalent to a formal proposal. Usually by this time, the marriage proposal ceremony basically ends.
The engagement ceremony requires kowtowing. The engagement ceremony is also an important procedure in the Xibe marriage. After the woman agreed to marry, both parties immediately had to make preparations for the engagement. According to traditional practice, there are two engagement ceremonies. The first time is called the "hollow sacrifice ceremony". On this day, the matchmaker, the future groom and his parents brought two bottles of wine with the word "red Xi" on it to the wife's house. The future son-in-law served a double cup of wine and kowtowed to the future father-in-law and the elders of the father-in-law's family, and made a toast to express their gratitude for the kindness of the betrothal. On this day, the woman's family will prepare a simple meal to entertain her.
The second time was called the "wet head salute", and the place where the kowtowed was still at the woman's house. After making full preparations, the man sets the date and informs the woman and her immediate family members. On this day, the man's parents, son and matchmaker got into the carriage, brought sheep or other gifts and wedding wine to the woman's house, killed the sheep, boiled the meat, and warmly entertained the woman's family and their relatives. During the banquet, under the supervision of the man's parents and matchmaker, the future groom would kowtow to his father-in-law and his immediate family members to present gifts. At the same time, he would send a piece of cloth to his future daughter-in-law to express his feelings. After these procedures are over, the marriage is certain and the engagement ceremony is completed.
Since then, the two families have become in-laws, and their relationship has become closer and closer. On holidays, the man's family will also send gifts to the woman's family, especially to send a piece of clothes to the future daughter-in-law. The woman will also send a pair of cloth shoes made by her daughter to the future son-in-law. If the man does not "fulfill his obligations" at the woman's home for three consecutive years without any reason, then the marriage will be treated as automatic withdrawal, and the woman will choose another in-law's family; if the woman regrets, the man will refund all the betrothal gifts. Although this situation is rare, it happens sometimes.
After the wedding date was determined, both parties began various preparations for the marriage, such as painting the house, purchasing clothes, preparing livestock for guests to entertain, etc. On the eve of the wedding, the man must hire "Father and Mother" among his relatives to preside over the wedding and welcoming matters. Ao's parents usually choose people who are eloquent and have no widowed at home, and such people have considerable prestige in the village.
Two days before the wedding ceremony was held, the man's family selected a fat ram and held an entrance ceremony. People prayed for their ancestors to bless the newlyweds for peace and happiness throughout their lives and grow old together. Then the sheep are slaughtered and boiled. When the meat is cooked, the complete leg of the lamb must be selected to sacrifice to the ancestors. The caravan to welcome the bride leaves after breakfast. A bronze mirror is hung in front of the red caravan and a Eight Trigrams picture is hung behind it. Inside it are Ao's mother and a girl escorting the bride's clothes. This caravan is driven by Ao's father and represents the groom's parents to deliver a banquet and pick up the bride's house. Behind the caravan is a wedding banquet cart, which contains two pairs of livestock, a pair of poultry and gifts such as wedding wine, making it look jubilant. The groom, wearing a brand new dress and a big red flower on his chest, rode a high-headed horse and walked at the front of the wedding procession.
As soon as the caravan arrived, the woman's elders and relatives immediately came out to welcome it, accepted the gifts, and immediately slaughtered the sheep for the wedding banquet. During the wedding, the woman's family hosted a banquet for two days. The first day was a "small banquet" to entertain close relatives and neighbors. The wedding ceremony was officially held the next day. For the past two days, the bride has been hiding at the house of relatives and friends, and her aunt or cousin has opened her face in case she has married her hair. The next day, relatives and friends all came to congratulate them."Father and Mother", the groom and his father-in-law were busy entertaining the guests. The groom had to kneel and toast each elder.
this day, the woman will send the bride's brother and sister-in-law to deliver the dowry to the man's home. The dowry will include a wardrobe, quilt, embroidered pillows, etc. In addition, the bride will also make a pair of shoes for her in-laws and the groom's brothers and sisters, and make one to three pairs of shoes for the groom. When the dowry cart arrives, the groom's parents will warmly welcome them, toast them, and then carry the dowry to the door of the new house. At this time, the bride's sister-in-law took out the key and opened the lock of the wardrobe. The groom's parents threw the coins they had already prepared into the wardrobe, wishing the newlyweds that they would be filled with gold and silver in the future, prosperous and prosperous. After that, the bride's sister-in-law locked the wardrobe door and handed the key to the bride's mother-in-law, expressing that she had handed over the power to her in-law's family.
Da Dingba picks up the bride When the sun goes down in the evening, the "banquet" is about to end. At this time, the groom and more than 20 dancers who can sing, including Father Ao and Mother Ao, formed a "Dingba" team and came to the bride's house to congratulate him and pick up the bride. The "Dingba" invited by the man were all handsome and versatile. Friends from both sides were divided into two rows, dancing and singing in pairs. The bride's relatives and friends will take the initiative to order programs from "Dingba", and the "Dingba" will do their best to avoid being ridiculed for not being able to pick up the bride. The wonderful performance did not end until late at night.
The relatives and friends who saw off gradually returned, leaving only a small number of immediate family members such as uncles, aunts, and uncles. At this time, the bride's mother and Ao's mother began to dress the bride, coil the long braid into hair wings, put on silver hairpins, forehead hoops, earrings, rings, bracelets, and colorful new clothes, and carry pouches, silk handkerchiefs, pendants, etc., just as beautiful as a fairy. The brothers or cousins carry the bride to the caravan, and the father-in-law will give the son-in-law a small cloth bag containing grain and grain, and tell him to throw it all the way to suppress evil spirits.
Fireworks were lit at the door, and more than a dozen capable "Dingba" team members surrounded the caravan and set off. The groom scattered grains in front of the caravan and opened the way. The cheering and shouting along the way were very lively. This kind of caravan carrying the bride does not give way to any vehicle and moves forward bravely. If two caravans meet, the respective "Dingba" will lift the right wheel of the caravan and suspend it, and the left wheel will press in the middle of the road and divide the road equally. Because no bride from a family can delay time on the road, but must rush to her in-laws 'house as early as possible to get married.
wedding ceremony was complicated and grand. The groom and bride came to the door of the main room through the carpet. The groom was on the left and the bride was on the right. Opposing on both sides of the door, the groom lifted the bride's veil with the tip of his whip. The new man and woman knelt together and threw the cut sheep's tails into the stove fire with "hada" to make the "oath of white hair." Then, he came to the house and held a ceremony to worship heaven and gods. After the worship, the bride can wear embroidered shoes and touch the ground without having to walk on the carpet. Next, the groom and bride go to the upper room. The bride will kowtow to the elders of her in-law's family one by one, and present shoes made by herself to her in-laws, uncles and other close relatives as a courtesy of recognition. After the cumbersome etiquette was over, the bride, accompanied by the bridesmaid, entered the room and sat in the curtain, not allowed to go down all day long.
The third day is the day to marry the bride. There will be a grand banquet. All relatives and friends will come to congratulate them warmly and solemnly. The banquet must first receive the "Sarsha"(distinguished guests) from the woman's family. The male and female guests will sit at separate tables and be greeted by Father Ao and Mother Ao respectively. The elders of the man will toast one by one to express their welcome. Many people in "Sarsha" were eloquent and humorous, which made the atmosphere of the wedding banquet more enthusiastic. In addition to performing their own programs to make people laugh, they also often pull out their fathers and mothers to perform and ask them to sing the "Wedding Song" to cheer everyone up.
Before leaving,"Sarsha" in thedeliberately "stole" some plates, bowls, and chopsticks. After the groom learned about this, he wanted to catch up with the person who "stole" the chopsticks and chopsticks and asked for them back through festivals or singing. He did this several times before returning the "stolen" bowls to the groom. However, there was also a pair of chopsticks and a pair of bowls. The father-in-law would not return them to the groom until the groom took wine to visit his father-in-law the next day. After "Sarsha" left, the guests from her in-law's family entered the table in succession and continued to celebrate. The groom would toast them to express his gratitude.
In the evening, brothers from the bride and groom families will come to hold a "cup changing" ceremony (that is, the ceremony of changing wine cups). Mother Ao tied the two wine cups with red lines to form a "double cup" and poured water into one cup. Pour water into the cup, pour wine into the other cup, let the bride and groom sit opposite each other on the kang in the bridal chamber, put a piece of cooked leg meat of lamb or shoulder blade meat of sheep in the middle, exchange the two cups of wine with both hands several times, and then give it to the bride and groom each. After they drank it, Aumu asked who drank the wine and who drank the water? In this way, the bride and groom were allowed to eat meat three times and drink wine three times in a row, indicating that they would become a loving couple and grow old forever. After drinking this ceremony of drinking wine, the brothers of the man and the woman began to snatch the flesh of the shoulder blades. The one who grabbed it first was considered capable and also intended to entertain.
relatives and friends left, the sister-in-law or mother-in-law laid out the bed for the bride and groom. At this time, the bride got off the kang, went to the main room to pay homage to the ancestral tablet and parents-in-law, and then entered the bridal chamber. On the third day of the man's wedding banquet, the groom and bride must get up early, the bride must light cigarettes and serve tea for his in-laws, and the groom must carry two bottles of wedding wine to visit his in-laws. On this day, my in-law's family would also use a car to bring her parents here to entertain the in-laws for a "wedding dinner". The groom and bride, led by their parents, will also go to the cemetery to pay homage to their ancestors that day.
On the fifth day, her family will send a curtain and two oil cakes. The oil cakes will be wrapped in newspaper and rolled around the knot of the curtain. The groom and bride will each eat one before going to bed to express good luck. On the ninth day, the bride and groom returned to their parents 'homes to visit relatives and stayed overnight. After the full moon, the bride will return to her parents 'home for a full month. Nowadays, the Xibe wedding ceremony is simple, adding many new contents that are in line with the progress of the times, but some traditional customs are still retained.